A Milestone of Epic Proportions

Well, I hate to say it but lately the accomplishments have been flooding my life like something that floods alot.
First and foremost I am pleased to announce that this is my first post from an "Internet cafe", apparently they have become somewhat popular and have their way into my homestead. My first analysis is that they are used primarily as places where young adults can gather together and ignore each other.
Secondly, and secondmost I have been molested a record three times by grasshoppers this week alone. I would go into that further but that would require a box of Kleenex, half a roll, of cookie dough and Beaches playing in the background.

I shall report tomorrow on what may be the third greatest discovery of my life.