Toasted in a Good Way

Thanksgiving

2010-11-19T09:34:00.002-06:00

Why are blogs intimidating for me? Is it because I feel that there is some bar for quality that I have to meet in order to feel worthy to post something? If so then I need to get my head checked because the internet is certainly no standard for quality entertainment.
I think the problem is I want to compare myself to the giants of the culture. I watched "Keyboard Kat" for the first time last night and was amazed, but then I learned about how it came to be. I'm sitting in a grace period right now. A long dark period of obscurity that I need to take advantage of in order to hone what little skills I have.

Time to experiment.

call me wonderbread

2010-06-22T21:33:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while the sheer extent of my whiteness becomes apparent to me and shocks me a little.

Driving home today from buying a Buzz Lightyear themed Mr. Potato Head, I turn the radio on and here ABBA's "dancing queen". I'm not going to lie, it's a good song, I enjoy it, and I sung along a little. Until I got to the red light and realized I had my windows down.

Try as you might it is impossible to look tough and cool in this situation. I tried anyway. I failed.

Man I wish I was black.

Purple Jolly

2009-10-29T10:51:00.003-05:00

Did you ever notice how right when you are about to do something that you have been putting off is right when you're brain gets the most esoteric. I sit down to right and all I can think of is the shine on the keyboard from the dozens and dozens of fingers that came before me and that none of them used Q.
For instance I was going to right about Obama's decision on sending troops to Afghanistan but all I can think of is this jolly rancher I saw on the sidewalk yesterday on my way into class. It was kind of sad seeing it there discarded, unloved, and lonely(when I came out of class it was still there and even the ants had given it a wide birth).

All this leads me to wonder, Why don't our brains act like we want them to?

when I come up with a theory I'll let you know

Gyroscopic Realms

2009-09-30T23:40:00.001-05:00

Okay, I said yesterday that today Iwas going to reveal something big, so here it is.

Running. Seriously. If you read this blog and take only one piece of advise from me let it be this, read Born to Run. I haven't even read more than half of the book and all ready it is changing the way I think not only about running but about life. As such I hereby make this solemn and slightly sober vow.

I, Lucastoast, do so swear, on penalty of being refused addmittance to lines for free stuff, that it shall be my life's goal to become one of the nation's(America) leading ultradistance runners.

P.S. the best part is you know I'm telling the truth because it's on the Internet and everyone knows that if it's online it has to be true.

A Milestone of Epic Proportions

2009-09-29T10:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I hate to say it but lately the accomplishments have been flooding my life like something that floods alot.
First and foremost I am pleased to announce that this is my first post from an "Internet cafe", apparently they have become somewhat popular and have their way into my homestead. My first analysis is that they are used primarily as places where young adults can gather together and ignore each other.
Secondly, and secondmost I have been molested a record three times by grasshoppers this week alone. I would go into that further but that would require a box of Kleenex, half a roll, of cookie dough and Beaches playing in the background.

I shall report tomorrow on what may be the third greatest discovery of my life.

Attack of the Munchies

2009-09-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

It was a dark and stormy night. The light from my computer moniter shone dully in my empty eyes.

I had been staring at a blank screen for two hours and still had no idea what to write. I could hear my dog behind me, eating away at some kibbles (the bits were removed to avoid intestinal discomfort) chewing very loudly to the point were I couldn't quite concentrate on anything.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

I started to to slowly press the keys on my keyboard, not really knowing what keys I was pressing.

I spelled out tacos.

Seven minutes later I was in my car two blocks away from taco bell my stomach growling and my mind buzzing with images of enchilladas, burritos, and empanadas.

Then my engine died.

to be contiued...

take two parts hate and mix with one part contempt with wisk until soft and mushy

2009-08-20T14:16:00.000-05:00

Okay so it's time to use this blog the it's supposed to be used.

That's right everybody! It's rant time!

Today's rant is brought to you by Family Circus, the comic that wouldn't die. Now, a lot of you might be saying "but lucas, Family Circus is an american tradition. the comics page wouldn't be the same without those adorable little kids and their crazy adventures." to which I would have to reply "duuude nu'uh!"

First things first, yes the comic is an American tradition, yes there was a time when the kids were adorable and we would all go awww when they mispronunciated a word, but that time ended about thirty years ago. The very thought that a comic strip could be around for fifty years is insane.

I'm not saying that good strips shouldn't be able to go on as long as they want but when the creaters are so far out of ideas that you can go an entire month of reading without so much as a giggle,(yes that has happened) and the typical strip instead induces groans of pain it should be obvious to all involved that it's time to call it quits.

Quite possibly the only good thing about Circus staying around is the very funny lampooning of the strip in Pearls Before Swine, an excellent strip that you can find at comics.com

whew, I feel better now. who wants some takeout?

Film Review: G.I.Joe

2009-08-08T00:10:00.000-05:00

Remember when G.I.Joe used to mean a standard everyday soldier who would probably amount to nothing more than cannon fodder? Joe has succeded this definition in every way possible. I don't want to be too mean on the film, it is suprisingly fun when you manage to get your brain level down to about slug, but I just can't think of any reason to praise it. Throughout the movie we are treated to flashbacks on some of the charaters in order to get an emotional background. While this is a pleasent surprise it should be noted that it is very unnerrving to get the strongest emotional connection with the walking mannequin that is Snake Eyes. All in all the only thing that will surprise you about this film is the all too brief cameo by Brendan Fraser.

Two and a half stars out of four

It's all downhill from here

2009-08-04T23:15:00.000-05:00

hoo boy. Well I never thought I would type this but, I'm going to start a blog.

Famous last words I know but I am being kind of hopeful. With any luck this thing won't go down like a firey sinder.

Cheers!